Lost it!

I lost my temper today and banged on the table at our estate's emergency council meeting. Some individual council members did some things which did not follow the SOP and without the expressed consent of the whole council. While they had good intentions, they ignored the SOP and showed no care for the governance. The SOP are there for a purpose! Good luck to them if they continue to think that they can do it their way. Sooner or later, what they have done will come back to bite them in the a** or worse, is detrimental to the whole estate. Argh.  

Flare

I think I shocked a quarter of my office today lol.

I was going to make a phone call when I discovered that my Treo Pro stylus was missing. I was alarmed. I looked frantically everywhere for it - my bag, my table, the floor. But it was nowhere in sight. I was really annoyed with myself that I have lost my stylus so soon and I only have the Treo for less than a month. I hate losing my things. I get really upset and irritated with myself. I told my friends sitting in my cluster that I have lost my stylus. Then one of them said he had it. Can you imagine the relief that I didn't lose it out of my own carelessness?! But that relief turned to anger and my poor friend had to endure a tongue-lashing from me. One of my friends later told me that everyone was so shocked by me, including those in the next cluster and nobody dared to breathe a word! I think after that, people kept away from me for fear of incurring my wrath. :P

Anyway, apparently my friend said he was using my stylus right next to me for 5-10 minutes before returning to his work station with it. But I hadn't notice, maybe because I was so engrossed with doing my work. But whatever it is, I felt bad for flaring up at my friend. I should have controlled my temper better. Sorry, Friend. :(

Seeing RED!

Today, two persons within the space of 30 minutes made me see RED! It didn't help when I was already angry with the 1st person through her stupid email and then to be informed about the 2nd person's idiotic antics over the phone. It was like adding fuel to fire, making the fire burn even more violently. In this case, the fire was my temper and it just flared out of control!
I wrote a sarcastic email back to the 1st person. With the 2nd person, I decided to take things into my own hands rather than go through her. Somehow that made me felt a little bit better. But I think it was the email that I sent to a good friend to vent my anger, all the cursing and swearing. THAT really helped to quell my anger but I think I might have seriously scared my poor friend. Lol.

I am not an angry person by nature. But I admit that I can be easily enraged and I do have one heck of a temper. Why else would my friends and colleagues nickname me 'Chili Padi'? Lol. :P The blogthing "How Angry are You?" is really accurate. I do know how to quell my anger because as a counsellor, I have to learn to control my emotions. But with regards to anger, I still need to control it more. :(

You Are 42% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person. But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper. And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful. You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

How Angry Are You?

Mood Swings

Have you ever experience, at one time or another, where an incident can ruin your day?

It happened to me this morning. I was happy that I could work from home and I was off to an early start at 8:30am. But at 8:47am, disaster struck. A document which I tried to save became corrupted. I lost a huge chuck of data which became replaced by little tiny squares and funny characters. AHHHHH!!! I was most distraught! The thing is this document was new and I hadn't the time to do a back up. ARGH! I tried using data recovery software but to no avail. The document remained corrupted. SIGH. My bad luck! #$&*!! After that, I was in a very foul and agitated mood. I guess I was vexed with myself too. Sigh.

But as the day wore on, I became less upset. Because this is life. Little things like these would always happen, little hiccups, little obstacles, little inconveniences but life still goes on. No point getting so upset about it. I have better things to do than to remain in a foul mood the whole day about it. My mood changed for the better after I figured that out. Took me a while though, lol.

My mood got even better in the evening when I received an email from Evelyn who is Marieann's Godmother about the venue of her Easter wedding in Melbourne. I became most excited and happy and started searching for accommodation in Melbourne. I am no stranger to Melbourne, have been there many times during my uni days. I will be very glad to re-visit Melbourne again since my last visit was in 1998. :)

Oh yes, I guess there is something to be learnt from today's incident. Life is really too short to remain angry and upset! Lol.

Anger

Today at work, I was really angry with an email. I won't go into the details of that email. I replied it. Thank goodness, I had the brief presence of sanity to hold back sending it on to the intended person and instead, I sent it to a friend. She read it and said I sounded really angry.

I later took a walk with another friend and complained about the email to him. He commented along the line of Thomas Fuller: "Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help". If it is something that I cannot help, why be angry. As Alfred Montapert said, "Every time you get angry, you poison your own system". Very true. I only get myself all upset. As friend said, "So why bother, let it go". He's right, it's not worth it. After the walk, I calmed down relatively.

Yes, I can be quick to anger, in certain situations. I know it is not a good trait. I promise I will learn more self-control and learn to let go, as friend said.

Anger is momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you. [Lat., Ira furor brevis est: animum rege: qui nisi paret imperat.]
- Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus) (Source: Epistles (I, 2, 62)).

A man makes inferiors his superiors by heat; self control is the rule. Anger is an uncontrollable feeling that betrays what you are when you are not yourself. Anger is that powerful internal force that blows out the light of reason. Know this to be the enemy: it is anger, born of desire.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Did I send the email? Yes, I did but with the help of my 1st friend, it was almost an entirely different email in tone as compared to my original email.