A Wreck

I am a total wreck today. Never felt more upset and disappointed. 

On a Continuum

Today, I experienced from one end of the continuum to the other end.

I received some news and became really depressed in the morning. :(

However, as the day progressed, I saw how my friends rallied around me, how they encouraged and cared for me. I began to feel better. I realised that I was not alone. Thanks, my friends. I really appreciate all of you. :)

Emotions

Today, I helped my friend despite having a problem of my own. A promise is a promise. I won't break it even if it meant inconvenience for me. I managed to experience a range of emotions all in the space of one day.

I felt:
Cheerful, hopeful, frustrated, anger, hopeless, preoccupied, sad, lonely, tired, useful, contented, appreciated, happy.

Helping Others

I do enjoy helping people, be it my friends or strangers. Sometimes when I see tourists looking at maps and looking lost, I would go up to ask if they need help. I know some people would say that is being kay poh. But if your one single act can bring a smile or cheer to another person, why not? You will feel cheerier too for the day.

Somehow my career choices have always been those that I can be in the position to help others:
* Being a teacher - I helped my students to open their minds and learn about the world around them
* Being an educational psychologist - I helped students, parents, teachers and schools to deal with various learning disablities and difficulties
* Being a school counsellor - I help students to put their lives into perspectives
* Being a researcher - I conduct research in schools and hope the results will be able to help both current and future students, teachers and schools

Maybe my career choices are just extensions of my personality, lol. :)

Here's a blogthing that has quite accurate results.

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person. However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways. You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order. You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

PS. Today, I helped my friend out. Although I am tired, I feel really cheerful and content. :)

Seeing RED!

Today, two persons within the space of 30 minutes made me see RED! It didn't help when I was already angry with the 1st person through her stupid email and then to be informed about the 2nd person's idiotic antics over the phone. It was like adding fuel to fire, making the fire burn even more violently. In this case, the fire was my temper and it just flared out of control!
I wrote a sarcastic email back to the 1st person. With the 2nd person, I decided to take things into my own hands rather than go through her. Somehow that made me felt a little bit better. But I think it was the email that I sent to a good friend to vent my anger, all the cursing and swearing. THAT really helped to quell my anger but I think I might have seriously scared my poor friend. Lol.

I am not an angry person by nature. But I admit that I can be easily enraged and I do have one heck of a temper. Why else would my friends and colleagues nickname me 'Chili Padi'? Lol. :P The blogthing "How Angry are You?" is really accurate. I do know how to quell my anger because as a counsellor, I have to learn to control my emotions. But with regards to anger, I still need to control it more. :(

You Are 42% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person. But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper. And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful. You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

How Angry Are You?

Unwell Emotionally

Have not been feeling well emotionally since Saturday morning after I received another enbloc letter. SIGH. Enbloc is one thing that really makes me all upset and emotional.

For good friend's farewell lunch, I was dressed in black which I normally don't because I personally think it is too dark a colour for a happy occasion. But I couldn't help it, it was how I felt about the stupid enbloc. But good friends commented that I looked very nice. Lol. So much for trying to reflect the state of my emotion through colour.

Enbloc also affects my stomach or rather my emotions about the enbloc affects my stomach. I can't keep my food in. I would throw up. It is bad. On Saturday, I threw up my dinner. Today, I threw up again after lunch after hearing more bad news from fellow owner about the enbloc.

Sigh. I must learn to control my emotions better with regards to the enbloc. My home is priceless. It is not for sale. Don't I have my rights to stay here? Why should I be evicted from my home if I don't want to sell?? Sigh.

A Spectrum of Emotions

Today, I went through a spectrum of emotions.

Disgust:
I received a letter and the draft CSA from the property agent which is supposedly representing my estate in the enbloc attempt. I am so disgusted with these people who only care about how much money they will have in their pockets by selling our homes. They would do anything for money, probably sell their souls for it. I really hate these people.

Sadness:
Am I going to lose my home? I have stayed in this particular district almost all my life. I am so familiar with the places, the environment, the community, everything. I have so much attachment to this area, so much memories,... sigh...

Joy:
I was at Coffee Bean to take my mind off things. A former student of mine came to greet me. I was really surprised and happy to see her. I was her form teacher in P4 and now she is in JC2. Time really flies. I am very happy that she remembers me. It is nice to be remembered, lol. We chatted for a while and exchanged email addresses. Will definitely keep in touch.
She is not the first student to come up to me when on the street. At least, that means I was a nice enough teacher for them to remember me and to be willing to greet me first, isn't it?! Lol.

Anger:
No one is going to take my home away from me! I am going to do all that I can to stop this enbloc madness. Don't worry, I will do it through legitimate means , of course. Not going to murder anyone but I can dream of it, right? Hahaha. Turning my anger into strength... They better watch out...

Tiring but Satisfying

I had a tiring but most satisfying day.

I finally did more search for my journal articles in the library.
Walking up and down among the book shelves, locating the hefty volume, stretching to reach it and finally holding the hefty volume in my hands is just pure satisfaction. Strange as it is but I feel there is nothing more satisfying and joyous than finding what I wanted/ needed. :) However, it is no joke trying to lug a few of the hefty volumes all at once to the photocopier. Hmm... need to build up my arm muscles. Hahaha.

***
Marieann is having her full dress rehearsal tomorrow. No choice, had to go out again in the evening to get her dancing shoes. We went to Great World City. Managed to get her shoes, not Mary Jane pumps but close enough. We will see if it is okay to be used for her performance. I happened to see a pair of shoes that I like. Bonus, I didn't have to pay for it. Hahaha. After the shopping, we had Uzumaki Ice Cream. The girls shared a Blue Berry ice cream, I ordered a Bubble Milk Tea ice cream while hubby settled for a Green Tea ice cream. However, hubby and I swopped ice cream as we found we preferred the other's favour. lol.

Perfect, nothing like a sweet dessert to end a tiring but most satisfying day for me. LOL.

Updated 12 June 2007, 11:55pm.
I was waiting for my mother's call. She left for Taiwan in the late afternoon. Just received her call, she has arrived safely in Taiwan. She will be there for a month visiting her family. I hope she enjoys herself.

Emotions swirling, Thoughts swirling

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion. - Dale Carnegie

Emotions swirling round and round - jealousy, anger, sadness, fear, bitterness, remorse, loneliness, happiness, hope...

In one of my jobs, I have to deal with emotions. Early on in this career, I learnt to detach myself from my clients' emotional states/ situations. It does sound very cold but it is something I have to do in order to maintain the objectivity. I won't be of much help to my clients if I am overwhelmed by their emotions.

***
This dead of midnight is the noon of thought,
And Wisdom mounts her zenith with the stars.
- Anna Letitia Barbauld (Source: A Summer's Evening Meditation)

Thoughts swirling round and round. My mind is at its best in the dead of the night, resulting in me doing some of my best thinking and writing in the wee hours of the morning, as can be seen with my blog. Oh, of course with my Phd thesis too. Hahaha.