It was the second day of helping out at my friend's father's wake. I was there from 9:30am until 10pm. Another long day but again, really glad to have been of help with the reception and collection of bai jin.
I took my "job" very seriously and I worked out a really good system of collecting the bai jin.
My friend told me that his family was very surprised that the bai jin tallied with what was recorded! Of course, 10 years of training in doing research - collecting data methodologically - was applied to the collection of bai jin.
making it easier to keep in touch with family and friends
Showing posts with label wake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wake. Show all posts
Sunday, 20 April 2014
Saturday, 19 April 2014
Wake
I was helping out my good friend and colleague at his father's wake. The family needed someone to help with the reception and the collection of bai jin (white gold or cash contributions that family and friends would give to the grieving family). I agreed to help out. As someone who is not related to either side of the family, I could concentrate on my "job" and thus leaving the family free to "entertain".
I was there at 8am and only left at 10:30pm. It was a long day but I was glad that I could help the family.
I was there at 8am and only left at 10:30pm. It was a long day but I was glad that I could help the family.
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Wake
The girls and I were at their great-grandmother's wake at Mount Vernon. It was an experience for the girls because it is their first wake, and their first Christian wake. We left the wake before the service because the girls still have school tomorrow and Marieann still has homework to complete.
At the wake, the girls, especially Marieann, were initially curious and wanted to have a look at their late great-grandmother. But Juliane chickened out and closed her eyes when she got near the coffin. Marieann was uneasy after the first look. But sil made her look again before we left the wake. I was annoyed with that. It is their first encounter with death and their first close up view of the dead. It is totally understandable if they are uneasy and it doesn't matter if the deceased is family. I know of adults who are phobic of attending wake/ funerals because they are totally uncomfortable with/ about death/ the dead, let alone children. Some people believe in exposing someone repeatedly to something he/she fears and he/she will be cured of that fear. Unfortunately I don't believe that. If anything, it might make things worse, psychologically. Sigh. I didn't want the girls to be traumatised. I conducted psychological debriefing with the girls after we came home.
At the wake, the girls, especially Marieann, were initially curious and wanted to have a look at their late great-grandmother. But Juliane chickened out and closed her eyes when she got near the coffin. Marieann was uneasy after the first look. But sil made her look again before we left the wake. I was annoyed with that. It is their first encounter with death and their first close up view of the dead. It is totally understandable if they are uneasy and it doesn't matter if the deceased is family. I know of adults who are phobic of attending wake/ funerals because they are totally uncomfortable with/ about death/ the dead, let alone children. Some people believe in exposing someone repeatedly to something he/she fears and he/she will be cured of that fear. Unfortunately I don't believe that. If anything, it might make things worse, psychologically. Sigh. I didn't want the girls to be traumatised. I conducted psychological debriefing with the girls after we came home.
Friday, 6 February 2009
Death and Honour
Within the space of one year, I have attended four wakes. It is sad for me because I feel for them, those who have lost their loved ones.
I think most people would shy away from attending wakes and even more so during the Chinese New Year period... But to me, if I have to be there to give support to my friends, I will be there. No questions asked as I have done for the past two Chinese New Year. As I always said, luck, be it good or bad, is what you made of it.
After work, I attended a wake in the evening with another friend. Our good friend has lost his grandmother. Our friend was concerned when it started raining and told us not to bother. But to me, once word is given, I will stick to my words. Not go, just because of rain? Then I would be a very shallow person, wouldn't I? A little inconvenience won't stop me from being there for my friends.
I think most people would shy away from attending wakes and even more so during the Chinese New Year period... But to me, if I have to be there to give support to my friends, I will be there. No questions asked as I have done for the past two Chinese New Year. As I always said, luck, be it good or bad, is what you made of it.
After work, I attended a wake in the evening with another friend. Our good friend has lost his grandmother. Our friend was concerned when it started raining and told us not to bother. But to me, once word is given, I will stick to my words. Not go, just because of rain? Then I would be a very shallow person, wouldn't I? A little inconvenience won't stop me from being there for my friends.
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Winter Solstice, Bolt and Wake
***
Today is Winter Solstice or Dong Zhi. Juliane and I helped my mother to prepare the tang yuan or glutinous rice balls for cooking (Marieann was too engrossed with her computer game lol). My mother prepared both the sweet tang yuan (plain) as well as the savoury tang yuan (which had meat filling in it). We were all enjoying our first bowl of tang yuan by 10am. :)
***
After our dim sum lunch at East Ocean, my girls and I went to watch the 12:30pm Bolt 3D at Lido. More about the movie in another post. Lol.
***
I attended my lecturer's mother's wake in the late afternoon. Wakes are usually very solemn, grave, serious and some might also be quite depressing for the visitors as family members might be tearing and crying. So far, this is the only wake where I was really surprised because the family members quite cheerful. Yes, cheerful as in joking and smiling but definitely not being disrespectful. My lecturer explained that her late mother was a very happy person and she has told her children that they should be happy at her funeral when she passed on. So they are now obeying her last words. I see. Whatever it is, I still hope my lecturer will take it easy and take care.
***
Actually I quite like what my lecturer's mother has said. Next time for my funeral, I would want my family and friends to be happy too. They should celebrate that I have lived my life and not be upset because I am lost to death. :) Ok, ok, getting too morbid for some people lol. :P
Today is Winter Solstice or Dong Zhi. Juliane and I helped my mother to prepare the tang yuan or glutinous rice balls for cooking (Marieann was too engrossed with her computer game lol). My mother prepared both the sweet tang yuan (plain) as well as the savoury tang yuan (which had meat filling in it). We were all enjoying our first bowl of tang yuan by 10am. :)
***
After our dim sum lunch at East Ocean, my girls and I went to watch the 12:30pm Bolt 3D at Lido. More about the movie in another post. Lol.
***
I attended my lecturer's mother's wake in the late afternoon. Wakes are usually very solemn, grave, serious and some might also be quite depressing for the visitors as family members might be tearing and crying. So far, this is the only wake where I was really surprised because the family members quite cheerful. Yes, cheerful as in joking and smiling but definitely not being disrespectful. My lecturer explained that her late mother was a very happy person and she has told her children that they should be happy at her funeral when she passed on. So they are now obeying her last words. I see. Whatever it is, I still hope my lecturer will take it easy and take care.
***
Actually I quite like what my lecturer's mother has said. Next time for my funeral, I would want my family and friends to be happy too. They should celebrate that I have lived my life and not be upset because I am lost to death. :) Ok, ok, getting too morbid for some people lol. :P
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